Addiction to Suffering and Illusions of Control

“Don’t forget to be sad.”

A thought I’ve observed in my head recently.

At first it made me really annoyed. 

But then I asked my beautiful Soul to help me understand. 

She said it’s the voice of a part of me that’s addicted to suffering.

Like so many high-achieving, highly sensitive women are. 

A part that believes being in a state of sadness (or pain or fear) is necessary to protect myself. 

A part that believes if I choose to be sad, I’m “in control” and better protected from (and prepared for) things that could make me sad. A part I’ve had for a very long time.

I thanked my beautiful Soul for bringing me this clarity.

Instantly my annoyance turned to deep compassion for this part of myself.

This part with genuinely good intentions to protect me. What a heavy burden it has carried for so long. 

So I thanked this part for its dedication to protecting me. I imagined my Soul’s unconditional love and unlimited compassion surrounding it with golden light.

Then I looked to the sky and gently asked if this part would like to experience lightness.

“YES!” it replied with great relief.

And I felt it rise happily into the sky, expanding into divine spaciousness.

It became Light.

You too have thoughts that keep you addicted to suffering. 

I invite you to observe them, ask your Soul to help you understand them, send them compassion, and invite them to be released from their heavy burden. Your Soul will happily help you, with great love. And you will bring great healing to yourself. As you release this burden, and as you deepen your relationship with your beautiful Soul.